There’s no doubting it: Google is awesome. When you spend a lot of time doing SEO, it’s even more awesome to see your hard work lead to the first organic result on Google’s results page. No matter how much you optimize, however, it’s inevitable that you’ll garner some misguided traffic. That’s why it’s important to analyze the search query report: a report of all your site’s Google-originated visitors (paid and organic) and what they typed into Google to get there.
Though some misguided traffic can be frustrating, it can also be a great source of entertainment.
To see your organic search query report, access the “Keywords” section of the “Traffic Sources” tab in Google Analytics. To see your paid search query report, you’ll have to click on “Reports” in the drop-down menu under the “Reporting” tab in Google AdWords, then “Create a New Report”, then select “Search Query Report” and select your parameters.
Top Ten Google FAILS
Without further ado, I’d like to present the top ten Google FAILS of Vodori.com. Disclaimer: this is all real. Not only did people actually search this stuff, but they also came to Vodori after searching it.
This thing is awesome! I’d say our web development is a little more professional though. Slightly.
- “is bradley cooper a tool”
Congrats to Mike Kinney for making a pop-culturally relevant SEO Title tag for his blog post, but I’m not sure if this searcher got the answer they were looking for. I don’t want to answer this question honestly, because that might hurt my chances of scoring tickets to the premiere of The Hangover 2. Lylab Brad ;)
- “how to define+spring 3.0, there is an xml namespace for configuring taskexecutor and taskscheduler instances + examples”
Personally, I’ve been trying to rank #1 organically on Google for this one for a while now. I’ll pat myself on the back for the excellent long tail keyword research and our first hit.
- “most important languages in the past”
Elvish. Klingon. Igpay Atinlay. American (note: this is also the current most important language).
- “puzzles for my girlfriend”
This is an interesting one. One would assume that the searcher is looking for a puzzle for their girlfriend to distract her while they’re up to no good (or debugging). In that case, I would recommend this one.
According to Google Translate, this means hydrogen in Russian. You win, Putin, you win.
- “rovegno italy”
Indeed, our President shares his last name with a small town in Northern Italy. I think I’ve found my suggestion for next year’s summer outing. Well, here would work too.
- “what are the most important new advancements engineering in the last decade”
There’s only one, and it’s the Three Little Piggy sandwich at Chicago’s own The Silver Palm. Double smoked ham, pork tenderloin, bacon, gruyere cheese, and some fried eggs.
- “sexy enterprise”
And last but not least:
- “what is meant by online marketing”
Uhh…defer to Rob DeMento.
Happy search query reporting!